Lately I've been thinking a lot about seasons and just the passing of time and how I handle it.
Right now my hubby and I have been apart due to him being away working, I have been very fortunate to be able to live with my parents during this time, but I would be lying if I said that being apart from my sweet husband and best friend is easy. It is hard and somedays I have to just fight to not let myself slip into the gloom of missing him.
Last time Stephen went and worked in Canada for the winter season, I did not handle it well....I honestly pretty much hibernated for the 3 months that he was away. I occasionally ventured out to take pictures and eat dinner with my family, but other than that I kept to myself and isolated myself far more than I truly should have. This time around I resolved to acknowledge my feelings of missing him and occasionally let myself have a cry over it, but I really have tried to be stronger and to use this time to work on myself, my health, spending time with my family, honing my photography skills and business, and growing closer to God.
I don't want to be a person that is so caught up in what will happen in the future, that I miss out on what is happening in the NOW. Tonight as the snow was pouring outside I sat down with my parents and watched the movie "The Spectacular Now." The movie is pretty depressing honestly lol....it is basically a story about a high school boy that at the age of 18 is an alcoholic and has been numbing himself to being present in the now and feeling the emotions and experiencing life as it happens. At the end of the movie, he finally realizes what he has been doing and stops drinking and starts living in the moment.
I am a planner by nature and I love to think about the things that are going to happen in the future! Leading up to before I met Stephen, I didn't date anyone, but I also spent a lot of time thinking about my potential husband....oh could this guy be my husband or could that guy over there be my husband...that I missed out on just being present and happy with where God had me at in my life at that point in time. When I stopped relying on my own timing to meet a husband and started trusting in God's timing, THAT that was the exact moment that God chose to bring Stephen into my life. God's timing is so much better than my timing and I can only trust that the season He has me in right now is preparing me for the season that is to come.
So with a heart set on living in the NOW and being happy with whatever season God has me currently in, I sign off for the night!
